The Jobber Blogger #123 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 3/9/14

Jobber Blogger Birthday logo2

One, Two, Three! It’s as easy as A,B,C for all of those Jackson 5 fans out there! On a side note, I keep seeing Michael Jacksons new album in stores…. I’m curious to buy it, I found his last few Albums to be of a lesser standard, given the odd occasional song. Perhaps he’s found more inspiration now… you know, being dead an all.

Wow, now that was dark to start off this weeks Jobber Blogger. But hey, it’s not that dark, it’s not like I’m wanted for murder and used it as a platform to taunt such actions. I just think its ridiculous to put out an album. Ah who cares.

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What you should care about is that I have actually started The Jobber Blogger on Sunday! It is exaxctly 6:37pm! So I’m not late yet! Of course I need to write the entire thing, create all the stupid pictures and then go post it around everywhere on the internet for no body to read! UP YOURS NO BODY!

Impact Wrestling Logo

bluelineTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 3/9/14

Yes we’re in September! Holy bat fanny packs everybody, we’re sailing toward Christmas! I also have a strange feeling I’ve been doing this for two years or more now. I seem to have missed my Second Birthday! So lets Celebrate it today along with my Dad’s Birthday! Wooo!!!

If only we could celebrate TNA’s success!

MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley kicked off the show. It’s about damn time Lashley takes centre stage and actually is starting to feel important and significant as the World Champion. Which in an ironic way, this entire opening segment was the exact opposite of important and significant.

It’s a shame to see that Wrestling is still stuck in that territory of saying the blatantly obvious remarks.

MVP blabbed on about how no body is tougher than Lashley, and then out came Samoa Joe to tell Lashley “he’s not even the toughest one in the ring right now”.

Oooo big talk, and then a match was made, which could have been done without this fart of an opening.

The only positive was that in New York, Joe draws a huge reaction, so it was kind of cool. Just ridulously Childish.

Least they skipped the part where they shout about each others asses.

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Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

I really don’t get the hype between these two. Their matches were good, this one was less good. Still good though.

The fact they made a video package for the match stating it to be the “toughest rivalry in knockouts history”. Really? Has it been the absolute toughest?

Because I seem to remember Taryn being a ref, Gail pushed her around, she got put on the roster, they had two matches, then she left. All of the above took around what, 1 and a half months? Then she came back for a couple of matches and now she’s this big deal that has a history no one else has. Meh.

Hot mess, no sense.

Tarynnosensearmpits

Although the Knockouts are fantastic and are capable of having awesome, awesome wrestling matches, things like doing a Neck-Breaker on the Steel Steps because they are women, seem to be the proving ground.

Quite honestly, I think Gail is capable of having much better matches, and she doesn’t need an opponent who will throw herself on the floor to prove how good she is. I get it, women taking big risks and doing big spots, you don’t see it often. But there is a style and a fenes that comes with the territory. Mickie James vs. Tara in the Cage, sure they did some big spots, but they performed on a level that was worthy of the main event, regardless of the Cage.

Bugs me is all.

Taryn then kicked out of Eat da Feet, which bugged me more.

Least she didn’t win. I don’t dislike her, I’m just not crazy about her either. She’s not ready to beat Gail for the Championship.

Though she might take the belt at Bound for Glory, which I think was the plan last year?

Then much to my surprise Skrillex showed up.

I actually bought Recess (his latest Album) his Music skills seem to have gone downhill now that he’s in TNA.

No, I’m joking. It wasn’t Skrillex, but it was Havok, who came out to some naff Dubstep tune, like an Undertaker Bane hybrid… also a woman.

She’s impressive, seems fairly capable. I don’t like her scream, I appreciate the different gimmick, I don’t think she pulls it off all that well though.

Time will tell, I’m often converted.

havocskrillex

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Robbie E and Jesse were competing last week via Tinder (the dating App) and both matched dates with some TNA Knockouts.

I honestly have no idea what the point was, at first I thought it was to maybe boost Tinder with some kind of Advertising deal with TNA….

Or a way to introduce Robbie E and Brooke Adams (Miss Tessmacher) who are dating apparently in real life.

 

But no, they matched with The Beautiful People and poor DJ Z pretended to be happy to be alone and annoying.

Meh

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Gunner and Samuel Shaw vs. Magnus and Bram

This was quite nice, I do like Tag-Team Wrestling but both of these teams clearly are only together to build the seperate storylines.

Shaw apologised to Gunner for wearing his Jacket last week and that he just wanted to know what it was like to be a Hero, is it worth mentioning Brittany seemed to have taken a liking to him. I suppose they might attempt a weird stalker kind of pairing between these two. Might work?

What was more interesting to me was the Bram and Magnus situation. For those keen fans out there, you might have noticed this is the first time they’ve entered using Bram’s theme rather than Magnus’.

No doubt this plays on the idea that Bram is now a bigger star given his success against Abyss, and clearly Magnus’ fall from Grace after losing the World Championship to Eric Young.

Whereas I think it’s fairly obvious Bram and Magnus will battle each other at some point in the near future, possibly making Bram the bigger star. I’m not sure what direction Gunner and Shaw will go in.

Gunner “injured” his leg which led to the downfall of the match. Shaw then screamed in a protective way.

Yeah I know, it’s hard to really care about any of this.

It does show that TNA have pushed too many guys. Magnus was being prepped for the next big star, now he’s nothing. Gunner had a good push, now he’s gone again. It’s hard to see anyone as being really credible.

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Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode – World Heavyweight Championship – Number #1 Contenders Match

I’m going to be honest, this match wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

Sure it was “competative” but it was also fast paced. It felt like they were only given a short time slot and they had to make up for that. The match was fine, high impact, impressive, but it’s timing wasn’t there.

“What do I know”, well a lot, I’m a Wrestling fan, I watch the product, have done for years. You can tell when a match is perfectly paced and when one feels rushed. Unfortunately TNA do rush a lot of matches. Given that this match was the top match of the night, but didn’t draw the main event and was slotted half way through and so quick, it almost felt irrelevant despite what was on the line.

I feel like this might be worth a second watch, but when it’s just big move after big move, high impact after high impact you can tell they are trying to pull out all the stops, but they don’t have the time to let each move settle, each impact breathe.

Which is a shame, it seemed like a good match, good pairing, just a little rushed to fit in.

A good string of counter moves to close out the bout which ended with Roode dropped EY with the Roode Bomb for the Win.

 

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Tigre Uno vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik vs. DJ Z vs. Homicide vs. Low Ki – X-Division Championship – #1 Contenders Match

Yup, I’m slightly getting sick of this now.

I get it, the X-Division stars are great, now let them have time to shine indepedantly, what actually pisses me off is that Low Ki and Homicide are getting the entrances, getting the spot light. Sure, Low Ki is great, Homicide is alright, the only reason they are getting the push currently is because of this TNA History revial. Samoa Joe is the Champ, Low Ki vs. Joe, Homicide vs. Joe, it’s been done, people like it. More importantly the New York fans Like it, so they get it.

Now what annoys me is that Low Ki and Homicide aren’t actively back on the roster. So guys like Manik, DJ Z, Tigre Uno and yes even Crazy Steve, who in my opinion are better than Low Ki and Homicide in most areas, and all of them just better than Homicide full stop. Yet they get buried over TNA’s insisent push for ratings and atmoshpere.

Sure, you could call that good booking? But also, it’s terrible booking. You’re giving guys who will probably be gone again in no time the time to bury your regular superior talent, all for the sake of them getting a pop, then losing to your Champ.

Awesome.

Homicide won. Which was also obvious.

Low Ki got the last entrance, but Homicide got a full entrance, which just goes to show where they are in TNA’s minds. Again, it’s the crowd response that pulls them higher.

I’m sure it will boil down to Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki vs. Homicide. Now the only person who won’t win that match is Homicide. Low Ki might. Joe will most likely retain though.

Hey, it might not happen. I’m just guessing.

What is interesting though is that Storm and The Great Sanada came out to steal Manik at the end of the show, so he will be next for Storm’s “Revolution” so that’s cool. Maybe they will ditch the Manik gimmick and bring him back as TJ Perkins?

 

Austin Aries then hit the ring to moan about Storm and Sanada from last week, but it was all to introduce Tajiri.

Tajiri, now that’s a name that takes you back huh. Shame he always sucked. Now it’s 2014 and I’ve not seen a Wrestler look more out of shape.

Awesome, I’m so excited now.

tajiri

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Spud vs. Rhino

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Spud has raised his game for Bad hair cuts once more and EC3 has thrown him to the …. Rhino?

Before this match got set up they all wasted time in the ring earlier on in the night. Though interestingly EC3 had 3 demands after the actions of Bully Ray putting Dixie through a Table – Bully gets fired (which he is supposedly gone from the company, but working on a per appearence schedual), the words Hardcore and Extreme are never to be used in TNA again (let’s hope!) and he gets more respect.

So yeah, Bully getting fired could quite easily happen at the hands of EC3.

Spud is awesome! He recently spoke about how happy he was that TNA had the Chief of Staff idea, because he knew he wasn’t doing anything amazing with them, and his work wasn’t really shining. I expected him to be fired before long, but glad he was given the opportunity to do something different.

I’d say you will struggle to find anyone more entertaining than Spud right now in Wrestling, he knows what he’s doing and knows what to get the results he wants. Not only that, but people love it.

Clearly he wasn’t going to do much against Rhino and shortly suffered a Gore and a defeat. The big story was EC3 just leaving Spud in the ring. So that might build to something.

Hopefully they won’t try and turn Spud face, because it just wouldn’t work.

 

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Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

I’m sure this match was put into place to build Lashley’s credibility as Champion. With him crossing over into MMA at the same time, they want to make sure he’s a force.

He’s defeated Eric Young, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries and now Samoa Joe.

The issue at hand is that you can make an argument for Joe losing because of the interfernce from Kenny King. Perhaps they want Joe to be the big tough guy that can take down Lashley.

I really don’t think Joe should be that guy. But again, with the Crowd on his side, he has a certain drive in his actions, and it really shows.

I’m hoping Lashley has a long Championship run. Though I would like Storm to be on top as a top Heel, and with his “revolution” it could happen?

 

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Impact was pretty packed this week again, I do wish they cut out some of the crap that isn’t needed to set up matches.

A lot of the time what they do in the ring could be done backstage in half the time. A lot of the time you don’t need any build up to set up a match.

 

Full sail ahead for next week’s show – The Hardyz vs. The Wolves vs. Team 3D – Tables Match.

I’m going to predict it, The Wolves win this match.

 

 

 

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

http://www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

http://www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

http://www.TheSteelChair.com

http://www.striketapandgrapple.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

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